Sunday, April 4, 2010

Voyage down the rabbit hole

Welcome to the new blog! I am sure the sudden change of focus demands some degree of explanation, and hopefully this brief post will satisfy. Over the past few months I did not maintain a regular posting schedule on the old blog; this is not because I have lost all desire to write about experiences and issues of life in the “trans-configuration,” but I found I was not composing pieces that were up to my standard. Originally I had hoped to write about scientific breakthroughs in the field of sex determination, but my recent loss of passions for genetics has made this and impossible focus. Likewise, I would love to write in-depth articles about trans identities and social/cultural issues, but I frankly do not have the time to draft essays of sufficient length with all the appropriate references and citations—rather, I don’t have the time to compose such essays without getting anything in return (i.e. money, thesis material, or university credit). This leaves me with personal experiences as a transwoman as fodder for blog posts, and I’d rather not limit myself in such a drastic way (hence the lack of recent posts).

With that in mind, I have decided to begin a new blog, Mapping Wonderland (don’t worry, you can read the old blog here: Now, Mapping Wonderland is clearly a not-so-subtle allusion to Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but beyond evoking a fantastic literary symbolism, Wonderland (in this context) refers to the world where I spend half of my life. That is, Wonderland is the world I inhabit in my head. This blog is a way to share my own private Wonderland; it is here you will meet both my ego (Sonya) as well and my alter-ego (Phoenix, aka Tegan), and you will see how they navigate both the imaginary and the physical realities. The inspiration for this blog actually stems from a recent existential crisis I had in which I realized that, despite having gone through a gender transition, I continue to feel as though I lead a double-life. On the one hand, I have my fox personality: Sonya. This is the self that exists in the mundane world (another, not-so-subtle allusion, this time to Fables by Bill Willingham)—she’s brilliant, but timid, lacking confidence. She’s introverted and easy-going. On the other hand, there’s the coyote personality: Phoenix—the self of the Wonderland. You’ll be introduced to her more throughout the course of this blog.

Ultimately, there is but one goal of this blog: actualizing alternate versions of reality. At the moment, this means an emergence of Phoenix into the mundane world—a willing manifestation of those parts of me I continue to keep hidden. The blog is an opportunity to explore the mythological world I create around myself. So, if you are willing and brave—or simply curious—I invite you into my world. Bienvenue!


caroline said...

Wow!, I ticked my first cool box.

What a strong signal you must have created posting this because as I was on my way home the thought came to me that it was time for you to make another post!

You never fail to write something interesting, this sounds fascinating and I look forward to where it takes us

Caroline XXX

Lori D said...

Sounds fascinating! I'm in!

Caroline said...

Four months is a long time to compose a post.

Caroline xxx

WSR Photography said...

I wish you good fortune on the adventure down the rabbit hole (or is it whole as all of you or all of it you're falling into?). We're all our own Alice in our own Wonderland of our own making, real and not. And you've discovered that transistions are always still transistions, long after you think you're through, only to find it followed you and some of it you carry with you, because it's the whole of us, before, in the middle and afterward. We're still there as is the past.

Sonia said...

Dear god, 8 months! It took me 8 months to post a second blog! So sorry...let's see if I can keep it up! This was long over-due!